'Trump Sends Barron to Podiatrist'

[sop]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a nationally televised address Saturday night, Donald J. Trump announced that he had ordered his son Barron to visit a podiatrist.

“My fellow Americans, earlier this evening, at my command, Barron saw a podiatrist,” said Trump, flanked by JD Vance, Marco Rubio, and Pete Hegseth. “I am pleased to announce that he has returned home safely.”

“Barron’s mission was to obtain a note from the doctor,” Trump added. “Mission accomplished.”

Minutes after the speech, a new poll showed that a majority of Americans favor dropping Donald Trump on Iran.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-sends-barron-to-podiatrist

[milestogo]

1. So Barron has bone spurs and won't be sent to fight his daddy's war.

[sop]

3. They swore in four tech bros as lieutenant colonels, I think First Bro Barron should at least be made a general.

Put him in command of all the brave keyboard commandos in the Manosphere Brigade.

[allegorical oracle]

2. Killer last sentence.... Too funny.