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The Borowitz Report-Trump Sends Stephen Miller to Strait of Hormuz: 'No One Clears a Place out Faster Than Him'
Trump Sends Stephen Miller to Strait of Hormuz: ‘No One Clears a Place out Faster Than Him’
— Ray Beckerman (@raybeckerman.bsky.social) 2026-03-18T11:55:08.583Z
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-sends-stephen-miller-to-strait
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Claiming he does not need the help of “those sad NATO losers,” on Wednesday Donald Trump said he was sending Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller to the Strait of Hormuz.
“No one clears a place out faster than Stephen,” Trump said. “It’s his superpower.”
Though expressing confidence in Miller’s effectiveness as a human repellent, Trump disclosed that he had a backup plan.
“I will put my name, Donald J. Trump, on the Strait of Hormuz,” he declared. “That emptied out the Kennedy Center very rapidly and very powerfully.”
“No one clears a place out faster than Stephen,” Trump said. “It’s his superpower.”
Though expressing confidence in Miller’s effectiveness as a human repellent, Trump disclosed that he had a backup plan.
“I will put my name, Donald J. Trump, on the Strait of Hormuz,” he declared. “That emptied out the Kennedy Center very rapidly and very powerfully.”
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This has become a new favorite. 