Where the fuck is Micro Penis Mike Johnson?

[Aviation Pro]

My guess is he’s pleasuring himself thinking of the Rapture.

[Torchlight]

1. His most recent statement I read this morning

said he was praying to his god (JPMorgan?) that trump was only throwing a temper tantrum rather than considering it seriously.

I guess that's the extent of his leadership potential: hoping and praying it's not as bad as it is.

[efhmc]

2. If that bunker under the destroyed east wing is available, then that is where he is.

[Ocelot II]

3. Rummaging in his pants trying to find it.

[MineralMan]

4. Cowering in a basement somewhere, I imagine.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

5. Watching porn perhaps?

The opportunity lended itself!

[Johonny]

6. Busy researching his next gig

He knows he's toast in November and is likely to skip town after he loses the Speakership.

He's all about Mike Johnson and what's next for him. He never cared about America. Not even a little.

[Blue Owl]

7. Ushering in the tribulation with a pair of tweezers