George Santos Goin' Down To Prison, Lawd, Lawd

[Zorro]

Remembering the man who Walter Mitty-d himself into our hearts, and also prison.

What a long and terrible fall from grace it has been for famed inventor and three-time Wimbledon champion George Santos.

The not-even-one-full-term former New York congressman was sentenced on Friday to serve 87 months, or seven years and three months for the math-challenged, in federal prison. As a prisoner, not the warden, despite qualifications for that job that include being the former Attorney General in nine different states. Santos also was fined more than $373,000, which he was ordered to pay immediately, but we assume that will be no problem for one of the more prominent members of the Rothschild family.

Santos, a Republican obviously, was originally charged with 13 counts of money laundering, stealing public funds, and a whole bunch more stuff. Then the government found another 10 counts to throw at him after his campaign treasurer flipped on him. In the end, he pleaded guilty to two felony counts of wire fraud and criminal dumbassery aggravated identity theft.

Santos reportedly wept as the judge pronounced sentence, presumably because he will spend the next few years wearing a jumpsuit instead of the designer clothing he bought with misappropriated campaign funds. But right up to the end, the beloved director of the last Star Wars trilogy had been behaving in a way that almost guaranteed the courts were going to throw the book at him instead of giving him the two years in the pokey that his own lawyers had asked for:

They had recommended he receive an 87-month sentence, in large part because, they argued, he wasn’t remorseful. In fact, after prosecutors submitted their sentencing memo, they provided an additional filing to the court highlighting Santos’ social media posts to demonstrate that he remains “unrepentant.”

In one post, he referred to himself as a “scapegoat,” and in another, he denied having used campaign contributions to shop at Hermès. “No matter how hard the DOJ comes for me,” he wrote in another post, “they are mad because they will NEVER break my spirit.”

Okay, Icarus. Watch out for that sun, it can get melty.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/george-santos-goin-down-to-prison

[Walleye]

1. And that is the sentence that would've been appropriate for Trump. Had we not had such a corrupt system

[Aristus]

2. I hope someone in the prison he's going to will pass around that pic of this smarmy, slimy dickhead

making the white supremacy hand gesture while taking the oath of office. That will likely reduce the duration of his stay in the jug.

[HereForTheParty]

3. Please let there be video

nm

[underpants]

4. Several giggles in this piece. 😆

Santos was also forced off whatever House committees he had joined a month into his term, which meant he was collecting a congressional paycheck to mostly wander onto the floor and try to get someone, anyone to talk to him. Eventually, after a couple of efforts, the House managed to vote to expel him, making him the third representative expelled from the house since the Civil War. Ironic, since Santos had led the Union to victory over the Confederacy in that conflict.

Santos's expulsion came after the federal indictment on the charges that have now landed him in a federal prison for the next seven years and three months, when the scandal finally became too much for even the Republicans to ignore.

Most importantly, we cannot forget that Santos was a comedy gold mine during what has been a very dark decade for America. For that, and also for his bravery in making the first solo manned spaceflight to Mars, we will eternally remember him.

[FakeNoose]

5. George Santos is living proof that nobody in the GOP has any intention of vetting their candidates

Why should any Repuke candidate ever be taken seriously?

[Aristus]

6. It seems pretty evident by now that chroniclers of Santos's squalid little life

will continue to mock him for his ridiculous tall tales and pathetic lies.

I promise to enjoy the hell out of every such article.

[malaise]

7. Amazing how little coverage this is receiving

Recfor visibility.

[Old Testament Libera]

8. Now for the Trump cabinet...

the spineless Republican Congress, and for Trump himself. if we can get them all in prison I will have renewed faith in the American nation.