I was extremely attracted to my future wife. Lots of men around were, pretty much all the male physics, chemistry and other STEM undergraduates and grad students were interested in her; she was dating an astronomy grad student when we first met. Frankly I was just another in the crowd of intrigued men, not all of us with good intentions to be honest, though I'd like to think mine were. I don't think she thought much about me at the time. We knew each other casually and sometimes we talked but we certainly weren't close.
I therefore guess I'll refer to one of the first events where she and I spent the day together alone.
There was a Modern Art retrospective at the Met in New York that I was planning to attend alone. I ran into my future wife on campus and we stopped to talk and I mentioned that I'd be going to the show. She said she would love to go but couldn't afford the expense.
This struck me as a great opportunity to get to know each other better, for me to understand her on a deeper level, for her to get a little beyond knowing I existed.
I thus said I'd be glad to treat "for the pleasure of your company," my exact words which I remember well. She hemmed and hawwed a bit but finally agreed clearly under the unstated condition that it was not a date but two friends going to an event together.
I remember that day very well, touring the museum. When it closed I suggested taking her to dinner down in Greenwich Village at a restaurant called "Le Figaro" which is still there but far more upscale than it was in those more casual days. I used to go there a lot when I went to jazz clubs in the city, before and after shows.
It was a purely wonderful day, that day at the Met, followed by the evening in the Village and dinner at Le Figaro and while I wished it was a "date" she would not have described it as one.
However that day set in motion the long friendship existing right through the present day that ultimately became a love affair and the marriage that made my life worth living. I guess 42 years later I can get away with thinking that long after the fact I can declare it a "date."
It will have to do.
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