General Discussion

Warpy

(113,932 posts)

130. It's a total pain in the ass for women who

Tue Sep 23, 2025, 08:25 PM

Tuesday

have to conform to this patriarchal bullshit because of family insistence. While we can assume an alias--our own name--after marriage as long as the main purpose is not to commit fraud, we shouldn't have to be put into that position bt a legal system that clings to outmoded and massively inconvenient tradition that highly disadvantages one sex but not the other.

I did jump through the hoops, upgrading to a WASP name to lose the anti Semitic pejoratives and yes, it was a nice change but it took me months to get through all the damned paperwork. It was cumbersome and unfair.

I think a much better option would be to indicate on the marriage certificate which name each spouse will be using once the preacher stops mumbling and the cake gets cut. There is no excuse for having anyone expend a huge amount of energy getting everything changed over, that should be done electronically, things like new voter registration, new driver's licenses, new Social Security cards, IRS ID, banking paperwork, and all the other crap just taken care of, new IDs and other crap just mailed on out if necessary.

Even doormat Tradwives complain about this shit.

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I just want to add a comment to those thinking the voting marital name change issue is not a problem [View all] hlthe2b Tuesday OP

Kick SheltieLover Tuesday #1

It is a BIG DEAL! EarthAbides Tuesday #2

I still have the name I was born with Grim Chieftain Tuesday #19

for the short time I was married in the 1980s, barbtries Tuesday #102

So do I! calimary Yesterday #138

Great story Grim Chieftain Yesterday #139

Hugs back atcha, Grim Chieftain! calimary 20 hrs ago #167

And it's a BIGGER deal than a birth certificate. pnwmom Tuesday #94

I have been married twice oberle Tuesday #137

At least till Congress requires it is the bottom line. And if it takes months to gather your documents, pnwmom Yesterday #141

Which is the point. pandr32 22 hrs ago #159

Slightly off-topic but those documents can also VTderry Yesterday #150

My maga sister is one of those who stupidly says it is no big deal. Not to her, she is rich. Trueblue1968 Tuesday #3

It costs money and takes time, too. MineralMan Tuesday #4

Every obstacle to make it harder to vote ... now who would that benefit ... I wonder who .... Could it be .... eppur_se_muova Tuesday #5

Same thing, different name. soldierant Tuesday #88

Thank you. Solly Mack Tuesday #6

applegrove's post was about needing to get a marriage certificate... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #7

She also discussed the voting issue. Are you claiming I am lying? You need the birth certificate hlthe2b Tuesday #8

No, I'm not claiming that you're lying... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #11

Women have to have both! EarthAbides Tuesday #22

Yes, for some things they do SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #24

It is definitely a tax on women. Scrivener7 Tuesday #29

Where are women required to have a birth certificate to vote? SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #31

I just can't anymore. Scrivener7 Tuesday #40

Not sure why... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #47

That's the subject of this thread. What have you been reading? Scrivener7 Tuesday #51

And yet... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #52

Because you couldn't possibly google or keep up: House GOP tramples on women's rights with passage of SAVE Act hlthe2b Tuesday #53

I'm well aware of the SAVE Act... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #55

And you think those affected will have the time to react if it is signed/enacted? hlthe2b Tuesday #57

Which seven Democratic Senators ... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #61

They are clearly delaying to the last minute to ensure women have no chance to respond... hlthe2b Tuesday #64

I do care about women being disenfranchised... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #70

MEN do not change their name to their wife's. IT IS about women. Good gawd. hlthe2b Tuesday #75

Under the SAVE Act... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #84

How many House Democrats did you think were going to vote to honor Charlie Kirk? Scrivener7 Tuesday #73

Did you believe that Roe vs Wade could never be overturned? Or the Voting Rights Act be gutted? The GOP ... Hekate 21 hrs ago #163

NO. It absolutely does NOT. Scrivener7 Tuesday #69

Sorry, what "absolutely does NOT"? SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #72

You really just need to go read it. Scrivener7 Tuesday #74

I actually did... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #89

Because it hasn't passed the Senate yet. They are likely waiting till close to Scrivener7 Tuesday #54

Exactly. They want to pass/enact it at last minute to prevent women from having the chance hlthe2b Tuesday #60

I seriously can't deal with this anymore. We are actually needing to defend the idea that this is not a good thing. Scrivener7 Tuesday #67

One might wonder why they are on DU... hlthe2b Tuesday #99

I'm absolutely sure what you're talking about... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #108

And you missed the fact that, in practice, many women will need to provide both. Scrivener7 Tuesday #121

You seem to miss the point of what the birth certificate requirement is for SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #126

Have a lovely evening. Scrivener7 Tuesday #127

It will not pass Wiz Imp Tuesday #82

Hope not. But I didn't think House Democrats would vote to honor Kirk. Scrivener7 Tuesday #85

I'm not trying to downplay it but the majority of women would not be impacted immediately. Wiz Imp Tuesday #110

How many women moved, changed their name or changed party registration last year? Scrivener7 Tuesday #114

Somebody needs to look up the word downplay and perhaps rewrite their title. Ilikepurple Tuesday #129

You're sure Republicans won't get rid of the filibuster to assure they stay in power? SunSeeker Tuesday #90

Yes. I'm sure Republicans will not get rid of the filibuster just for this. Wiz Imp Tuesday #106

No. You're not sure. You're no more sure of that than people were sure Roe v. Wade would hold. Scrivener7 Tuesday #115

Yes I am sure. I'd stake my life savings on it. It WILL NOT HAPPEN Wiz Imp Tuesday #122

OK. So you've informed us bout your infallibility, and about the fact that you are OK with Democratic citizens Scrivener7 Tuesday #123

Amazing. You misrepresented every single thing I said. Wiz Imp Tuesday #128

I, too, suspect it will not pass crimycarny 22 hrs ago #161

Thank you for understanding the point. Wiz Imp 21 hrs ago #164

Not required in Kansas............ Bengus81 Tuesday #76

YET. This is about the Federal SAVE ACT. Google or head upstream. hlthe2b Tuesday #100

SAVE act requires a birth certificate to vote if you legally changed your name... haele Tuesday #98

It's A Tax RobinA Tuesday #105

Regarding marriage certificates... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #109

I've read your post four times and I still can't make sense of it. yardwork Yesterday #145

I apologize if what I said wasn't clear SickOfTheOnePct Yesterday #153

Its a tax on women if women need a birth certificate to vote MadameButterfly Yesterday #147

I agree 100% SickOfTheOnePct Yesterday #154

OK, so there's an even worse law MadameButterfly 14 hrs ago #170

I've been amazed at the Democratic/left pooh-poohing on this issue since the early push for RealID for voting Ms. Toad Tuesday #9

Boy, that's some serious poll taxing. ananda Tuesday #10

I'm not aware of any states that require a birth certificate to vote SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #14

Have you missed the weeks of discussion of the RW attempts to do so? hlthe2b Tuesday #17

I'm aware that a number of Republican states are trying... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #18

Perhaps you could Google the question. mgardener Tuesday #62

It's up to the people making the claims... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #63

This requirement for women to prove their maiden name is exactly that. It requires a birth certificate to vote. Scrivener7 Tuesday #30

What requirement for women to prove their maiden name in order to vote? n/t SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #32

I'll bet 50-75% of men don't have a clue where their BC is. I had to buy one years ago Bengus81 Tuesday #79

+1 leftstreet Tuesday #15

So glad I never changed my name. Coventina Tuesday #12

The old style birth certificates that I got in the early 'seventies from the county courthouse... hunter Tuesday #13

Yeah... I still have that one, but it was refused. Irritating as hell. hlthe2b Tuesday #21

A few years ago I had to get birth certificates for different relatives across 3 different states ClaudetteCC Tuesday #28

It is definitely a misogynist move. Most of us do change our names at marriage... Hekate Tuesday #16

I changed my legal name to my maiden and married name when I got married kimbutgar Tuesday #20

Isn't it standard practice to already have copies of one's birth certificate on hand? Kaleva Tuesday #23

Kindly reread my OP and that of Hunter (#13). Certainly not the RW MAGA to blame for hlthe2b Tuesday #26

Gosh. I had to replace my birth certificate because my mother lost mine. Scrivener7 Tuesday #33

LOL...I've been voting in Kansas since 1972 and a BC has never been required. Bengus81 Tuesday #80

But shouldn't everyone, men and women, have copies of their birth certificate? Kaleva Tuesday #34

Real ID has a number of options. You can do it without a birth certificates. Scrivener7 Tuesday #35

True but since I had my birth certificate, I used that Kaleva Tuesday #37

That's nice. Scrivener7 Tuesday #43

Only if your current driver's license was obtained with documents proving your full legal name Ms. Toad Tuesday #91

Based on everything I've read, you need a proof of identity to get a Real ID Wiz Imp Tuesday #97

Blame women....Blame poor women. especially after I detailed the $76 it cost me to replace mine hlthe2b Tuesday #41

We have a full set of vital docs... SickOfTheOnePct Tuesday #42

You know they're not free, right? leftstreet Tuesday #48

More Highly ENTITLED... hlthe2b Tuesday #50

Good for you! yardwork Yesterday #149

If Someone Says It's No Big Deal modrepub Tuesday #25

just went through this - dont forget the notary fee for the document Vitalchek needs +$20 TalenaGor Tuesday #27

You don't need vitalcheck if you go in person or use mail Kaleva Tuesday #39

For gawd's sakes. What percentage of this nations' women live in the state of their birth hlthe2b Tuesday #49

I don't believe women are as helpless as you seem to think they are Kaleva Yesterday #157

If they don't know, they aren't financially secure, trapped in a horrible controlling or violent marriage hlthe2b Yesterday #158

What does anything in that post have to do with helplessness? Scrivener7 19 hrs ago #168

gotcha - I live in a differnt state now so I didnt have much of a choice lol TalenaGor Tuesday #96

Some people have different situations than you. Scrivener7 Tuesday #120

It's a BIG DEAL proud patriot Tuesday #36

But the Stepford MAGAs will be ok with it IbogaProject Tuesday #38

Hell. It appears some here are just fine with it. Scrivener7 Tuesday #45

They will fail. Fiendish Thingy Tuesday #44

"Roe v. Wade will never fall." "No Democratic House member would ever vote to honor Kirk." Scrivener7 Tuesday #119

It IS a big deal sdfernando Tuesday #46

K&R. I didn't see the original thread, but I think some of its poo-poo overflowed Torchlight Tuesday #56

My BC copy was $47.50 through the same service. CrispyQ Tuesday #58

I am 77 years old and have never changed my name. PoindexterOglethorpe Tuesday #59

There is a lot of social pressure in many communities for a woman to change her name. hunter Tuesday #93

I lived in Minneapolis in the early years of my marriage. PoindexterOglethorpe Yesterday #140

Just deal with it. Maru Kitteh Tuesday #65

Seems to be the attitude--even among quite a few (male, I assume) DUers on this thread hlthe2b Tuesday #66

And my favorite: "Well, it wouldn't be an issue for ME, so it isn't an issue!" Scrivener7 Tuesday #113

Sexism all around us. yardwork Yesterday #146

I recall an article about a poor man in Wisconsin who kept driving to Chicago repeatedly to get his birth certificate lostnfound Tuesday #68

Isn't it amazing how prevalent gaslighting is here? littlemissmartypants Tuesday #71

Also sealioning! Also dismissing! Also misinformation! It's a bonanza of obnoxiousness! Scrivener7 Tuesday #116

Birth certificates have never been free synni Tuesday #77

Using "never" is really silly. Some states DID and all or nearly all DO. But that isn't the point hlthe2b Tuesday #101

Many years Rebl2 Tuesday #78

Poll Tax PurgedVoter Tuesday #81

as an adoptee mokeyz Tuesday #83

I have another complex paper trail TommyT139 Tuesday #95

your dad did you a solid Skittles Tuesday #86

In Ohio if there were multiple marriages Hope22 Tuesday #87

Much ado about nothing Gimpyknee Tuesday #92

Kick SheltieLover Tuesday #103

I have ForgedCrank Tuesday #104

yeah. None of this is a big deal to men... hlthe2b Tuesday #107

Those are ForgedCrank Tuesday #117

You aren't even responding to the issues on this thread. Not having read any of it, obviously. hlthe2b Tuesday #133

Ok ForgedCrank Tuesday #134

Last Name voting issue ms.pamela Tuesday #111

Most of us (at lest the majority women on this thread know). The men mostlly have shown they hlthe2b Tuesday #112

I'm amazed at the energy used to downplay this marginalization tactic. Ilikepurple Tuesday #118

The clear message here is that if a bunch of women lose the right to vote, it's no big deal. Scrivener7 Tuesday #124

This will discourage women from taking their husband's names when they marry. milestogo Tuesday #125

It's a total pain in the ass for women who Warpy Tuesday #130

Thanks hil. I deleted. Then I thought better of it, came across applegrove Tuesday #131

Thank you JustAnotherGen Tuesday #132

Then there's this character. Totally Tunsie Tuesday #135

NH libertarians passed this Tesha Tuesday #136

To the handful of naysayers: "this will never happen" on this thread--SEE THE POST ABOVE #136 hlthe2b Yesterday #143

I don't see anyone saying it will NEVER happen Wiz Imp 20 hrs ago #166

You haven't looked then. hlthe2b 18 hrs ago #169

It passed in New Hampshire with zero Democratic votes Wiz Imp 20 hrs ago #165

People who think it's a fine idea Tesha 12 hrs ago #171

I'm surprised the majority of Harris voters seemed to be OK with the law. Wiz Imp 12 hrs ago #172

We have one TV station - which is not helpful Tesha 12 hrs ago #173

Don't get me started róisín_dubh Yesterday #142

Ridiculous kkmarie Yesterday #144

It's absolutely ridiculous and infuriating. still-prayin4rain Yesterday #148

True that it's an expense. But overall, why not see the expense as an investment in original documents, which ancianita Yesterday #151

For gawd's sakes, ancianita, it is an equity issue and an intentional effort to disenfranchise women! hlthe2b Yesterday #152

Thanks. Understood. It's likely because I didn't read any previous thread on this, I did not know this part: ancianita 22 hrs ago #160

Thanks ancianita for taking the time to go back... hlthe2b 22 hrs ago #162

Passport $190, updated birth certificate $30 Clouds Passing Yesterday #155

So you live in the state of your birth? Hardly comparable, but good on you. hlthe2b Yesterday #156