I figured out why Trump is invading Portland

[jmowreader]

It's because those communist liberals in Portland might raise the Steel Bridge, and Good Patriotic Americans will have to swim the Columbia River to get from the Oregon Convention Center to Voodoo Doughnut.

Never mind that...

1. It's the Willamette River you'd have to swim to do that. If you swim the Columbia, assuming you don't get run over by a grain barge in the process, you'll come ashore in Vancouver, WA. AND...the Steel Bridge is not close to the Columbia.

2. There are two perfectly good bridges that can't be raised, that you can walk right across to get to Voodoo Doughnut. You're better off using the Burnside Bridge rather than the Steel Bridge to get into Old Town because once you're down on Burnside Street Voodoo Doughnut's a block south.

AND...

3. There's more than one branch of Voodoo Doughnut, and one of 'em is on the same side of the river as the Convention Center.

But it might happen, so invasion is justified.